What are a Baptist deacon, a Conservative Leadership Declaration, an Onion, and the Magna Carta.

Deacon Cole Has A Potty Mouth!
Councilman Kevin Cole of Pearland, Texas (who also happens to be a Baptist deacon) emailed the American Progress Action Fund telling them what he thought of their DropTheHammer.org campaign. Turns out he's not keen on American Progress Action Fund's new campaign. Here is the text of his email:

Hey ass hole [sic]. Tom Delay happens to be my congresman [sic] and I am happy with the job he does for me and my district. Why don’t you get the F@&* out of our district and leave us alone. Better yet, come speak to me personally and I will show you what I think of you.

Kevin Cole
Pealrand [sic], TX
[Cell Phone # Redacted]

Oh oh, Here They Come, Watch out Judges, They'll Chew You Up!
The Judeo-Christian Council forConstitutional Reform announced via a media advisory that they will be holding a press conference at Noon EDT tomorrow to announce the “Conservative Leadership Declaration In Support of Tom DeLay” — (I was hoping for something snappier in a name from them like "The Death Tax").

The “Council” purports to “confronting the Judicial war on faith” while “activist Judges are undermining democracy, devastating families and assaulting Judeo-Christian morality.” These are the same people DeLay was to address on April 7 but couldn’t because he “was called to Rome as part of the US delegation attending the Pope's funeral.”

Oh How The Onion Makes Me Cry
The Onion posted a piece called Embatteled Tom DeLay with quotes on how different people feel about the charges against our fearless House Majority Leader. A couple of my favorites:

"I heard Tom DeLay's blood was in the water and the sharks were circling him, but unfortunately, it turned out to be a metaphor."
Colleen Bowers
Systems Analyst

"Enough is enough. DeLay should do the honorable thing: take all the money he's cheated out of the American people, buy himself a nice mansion, and retire."
Andre Carson
Teller

Through Tom's Eyes: Contract With America = Magna Carta
The Los Angeles Times did a little digging and found that DeLay likens the GOP Contract On....uh, I mean Contract With America, with the Magna Carta, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights (check out DeLay's website). Who'd like to point out to DeLay the irony of him and his colleagues reversing some of the ethical tenets in the "Contract"?