Friday Borowitz Report Humor

Friday humor from the BorowitzReport.com:

RETURNED ABRAMOFF DONATIONS ERASE NATIONAL DEBT
Lawmakers Scramble To Shed Trillions in Tainted Cash

Politicians in Washington hurried today to dump trillions of dollars worth of campaign donations from disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff, giving the money to the Treasury Department and all but wiping out the national debt.

Congressmen, senators, and other politicians lined up around the block outside the Treasury building to give back their Abramoff riches, many of them carting piles of hundred-dollar bills in wheelbarrows. More...