"Corporations are people, my friends."
-Mitt Romney, Iowa, August 11, 2011
Today, Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, made that statement when speaking to an audience of potential caucus-goers. There's nothing that struggling familes who are mired in a brutal economy want to hear more than a corporation is just like them, struggling to find work and feed their families. Which, of course, they're not, as evidenced by the continually record-breaking profits major corporations are posting.
But maybe Romney is on to something. Maybe corporations are just like us. I mean, they pay taxes, right? Oh wait, no they don't. But surely huge companies like the ones that make up Big Oil are making a sacrifice to help reign in our soaring deficit like our seniors, sick, and middle class. What's that you say, not only are they not chipping in or being asked to, we continue to subsidize them further.
If corporations are people, what kind would they be? Big Oil would have to be the "friend" who shows up at a party, spills beer all over your nice new carpet, asks for a fresh cold one, gets it, and then inexplicably gets apologized to by the host for all their trouble. Wall Street might be the "friend" who borrows your car, totals it, forces you to pay for the repairs, and then fights tooth and nail against against the new street signs that were put up to prevent another accident. Is that really the company you'd want to keep?
But one major question remains. If corporations are people, them what do we make of fake ones that were seemingly set up with the sole purpose of funding a presidential campaign? Romney, of all people, should know. Oh, I've got it. They must be the tooth fairy, who under the cover of night leave money under your pillow and then disappear into the abyss.
Perhaps if Romney spent a little more time with actual voters instead of hob-nobbing around with inside-the-beltway special interest lobbyists, he would be a little more in touch. I guess it's easy to think that corporations are people when they seem to be the only ones you interact with. I guess voters should rethink the kind of people they hang out with. Then maybe, just maybe, they'd understand Romney a little better. After all, he clearly gets it.